So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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