There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
