I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
