He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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