I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
