We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
