I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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