Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
