And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
