I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have aggressive nipples.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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