i barfeds in our rink
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
