hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
