just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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