she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
