i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
