If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
