Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
