Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
