I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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