what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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