I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My ass is underappreciated
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
