I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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