I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
