dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
