i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
