His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
