I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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