Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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