I need help removing her.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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