Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize