I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Randomize
