And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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