i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
