It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
