you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
