you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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