i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
