I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
