I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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