the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
