drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I currently don't understand fingers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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