Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
