Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
