What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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