those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
