No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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