problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
