I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
