Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?

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(256): View more from Alabama

Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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(408): View more from California

his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.

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(269): View more from Michigan

It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.

(1-269): View more from Michigan

I just wanted to decorate you...

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.

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(360): View more from Washington

Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine

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