he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
