we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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