If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
