A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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