This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
