Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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