areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
