we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
