Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
