Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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