its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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