you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so let's talk penis.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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