What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
