she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
