I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
