all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
