Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
