How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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