You work out of a Hotel?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
